they need to just BURY HIM!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
