Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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