Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
