the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
