We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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