This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
