to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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