He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
