I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sext me about skeletons
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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