Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
