im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
