Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
