You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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