Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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