Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
