we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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