so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
