Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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