if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
