Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
