Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize