I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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