he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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