they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
