would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can't put those talents on a resume
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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