I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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