He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
