Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
