I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
