Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
