he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
