Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize