I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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