Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
they're like a gay fantastic four
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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