Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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