are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
