i need an iv and a liver transplant
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
A+ Viking dick
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
