She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
