three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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