I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
