So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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