on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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