Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize