This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
