the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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