Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
