There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
