we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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