I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she looked like the before picture.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
