I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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