So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
