I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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