you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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