I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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