when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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