she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize