u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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