I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
