At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
