How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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