that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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