Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize